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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Don't Give Sadness The Time

There are several sayings out there that I've heard over the years, "Don't sweat the small stuff"  "Don't worry, be happy"  "Live and let live"  etc...

It's all much easier said than done though when something sad or upsetting occurs in your life.  It's very hard to just 'let it go'.. 'deal with it'.. or 'get over it'... when it seems so all encompassing at the time, but that's exactly what you need to do.  You need to move on to better things.. happier things.. don't waste the short life we're all given.

Now that doesn't mean do something drastic or dramatic.. that used to be my solution.. if something bad happened, I'd respond with something major.  To give an example.. when a boyfriend/husband upset me, I'd go get a haircut.. not just a little one either.. we're talking some major inches cut off.  Why?  I'm not sure.. to me I think it was a lot like a fresh start.. a do over.. a new beginning.  Much as some people do with other alternatives ;)

There is also the count to ten idea.. now that's usually more for when immediate anger strikes.. but it also works if you make it a bit more detailed and helps your mind refocus on better thoughts.  What I do is think about ten good things about my life.  My son is almost always the first thing (unless of course he's the thing that at that time brought me sadness lol)  Health is usually a good one (unless you aren't feeling well) and then some of the others are kinda general .. family, work, friends, home, etc...  For those of you who are religious, remember the things you used to list when you did your nighttime prayer.. God bless Mommy and Daddy and all the good people.. and thank you for the new bike.. for aunt Lily coming over... getting rid of all those pimples on my face... You get the idea.. :)

It may seem silly but this really works.. for two reasons.. one.. we do have lots to be thankful for.. and two.. getting your mind on something else.. even for a few minutes.. lightens the load on your brain and even when/if it's thought about again, it's not near as strong on your mind.  Try it.. can't hurt.. might help.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Transparency

It seems the more you get to know people, the more transparent they become.

In most cases this is a good thing.  We want the people close to us to be clear to us and us clear to them.  In fact the more we see, the more we feel attached, closer, more in sync with our new friend or relationship.  This merging of souls and new found understanding can lead the way to more intimate, long lasting and devoted partnerships.

But there are also situations where transparency comes far too late and reveals the most unpleasant of characteristics about a person.  Things you might never in a million years have thought could appear under the guise of faux goodness.  Then you've found your mistake in sharing yourself so fully and it makes you feel vulnerable and heartbroken.

Many people learn from this and decide to never reveal too much of themselves.  Once bitten twice shy so they say.  But I feel you lose both ways if you limit your ability to trust and to love.  So the bad people win even before they've met you.

Other people decide to just share it all and let the chips fall where they may.  This can be freeing at first but it also can be intimidating to those less bold and more reserved, who might want very much to get close to you but your carefree and full exposure keeps them at bay.

So, as much as it can leave you at risk, I feel it's best to just continue on your path of happiness.  Never afraid to defend yourself but smart enough to pick your battles.  So while mistakes and false transparencies may come to you on your journey, the road will also be lined with realness and love and valid clear sightings of wonderful relationships that will make the bumps along the way all worth the travel.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Small Stuff

I think that it's taken me way too many years to realize the importance of enjoying the small things BUT (and here's the hard part) to not worry about the small things.

It's a complicated line to balance but so much happiness is found and not wasted when you achieve it.



What are some of the small things in life that you enjoy?

Do you have any small things you worry about too much?